Already got asked if we're dating
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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