Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
