i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
