It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
