I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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