Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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