It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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