Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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