How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
