I must be too annoying 4 u.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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