I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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