If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
