I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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