I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
