Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gonna have a badass scar
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
