yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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