Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
