I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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