No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
