why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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