my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
