I like to think it a success when the cops are called
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
