I like my sex mixed with concussions.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
