The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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