Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i don't like sucking hair
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
