you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
