just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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