I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
