Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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