uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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