just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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