i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
