it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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