I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
