Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
