She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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