I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
