it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
