Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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