I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
