I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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