That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
