youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
