just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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