Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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