You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
