a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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