I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
