playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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