i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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