I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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