Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i think my mom watched the whole time
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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