If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
