wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
