he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MIDGETS
????
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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